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If you’re blog just isn’t cutting it anymore and your marketing plans are failing, there’s only one thing to do - write craploads of content. One post a day, two posts if you’re really crazy. This will in turn skyrocket your readership, and by skyrocket I mean increase it at a slow and steady snails pace.

WHA? WHY?
Think about it - if you write one thousand posts and each attracts an average of one search engine visitor per day, you’ll be getting one thousand visits per day. That’s a hefty sum of readers! Writing consistently is the easiest way to get more visitors because as long as you have content that is being crawled by Google and Yahoo and you take a few steps to optimize it (All-In-One SEO plugin, anyone?), they will come. This is a technique you can fall on when your readership stagnates because this is a pretty assured way to get things going again.

THEN WHAT?
After your traffic numbers are high enough, declare yourself an authority blog in your niche and make people grovel at your feet just for a linkback flaunt this fact to attract even more hits (see: JohnChow.com). Once you get the boulder (metaphorical, of course. Unless you’re Indiana Jones) rolling, just ride with it until you get all the way to the bottom of the mounta- er… I mean… all the way to the top! Yeah, take that, gravity!

Posted by Max Miroff | 9 Comments »

There often comes a time in your blog’s life where you simply abandon it. Whole essays can be written on why you leave your blog for dead, but I’ll sum it up for you in a few key words: boredom, laziness, lack of achievement, Grand Theft Auto IV. It is often sad to see a blog become abandoned, and your readers will generally hate you for it. You surely wouldn’t want these people that you’ve never met to be angry, right? Exactly.

And that’s why you should bring your blog back from the dead. Can’t think of a way to do it? No problem! Here are four ways to come back blogging strong.

The Angsty/Apologetic/Generally-Boring-Unless-You-Won-The
-Lottery-Or-Something Re-Introductory Post (now with gratuitous hyphen-usage!)
In this post, you simply lie explain to your readers that you’re very sorry for not posting, will now post regularly, had other commitments, blah blah blah, please re-subscribe to my feed, et cetera. This post is generally hated by all people unless you are in the blog-about-my-life niche. Is anyone even still doing that? Hello?
Effectiveness Level: Trying to eat soup with a fork.
The Biggest Mistake You Can Make With This Post: Actually following through with this idea.
Your Readership Will… reluctantly accept the post while bitterly muttering to themselves.

The Normal Post
Pretend you never left your blog (if you don’t think about it, it never happened). Your readers will settle back into the norm and will hopefully dismiss your absence. After all, if you continue doing what you do best, what could go wrong?
Effectiveness Level: Killing a fly with a fly-swatter.
The Biggest Mistake You Can Make With This Post: Not proofreading your post. Your writing skills may have gotten a bit rusty during your absence.
Your Readership Will… be as content as they were before.

The Blog Rebirth
Change can be scary, and this rings true the most with this option. In short, this is when you go all-out and perform a switcharoo on your blog. Make a new custom design, develop a new writing style, and refocus. This is the riskiest option of all and it can win you some new readers while alienating some loyal fans. It’s important to weigh your possible benefits before following through with this: writing fun factor, niche popularity, and your knowledge on the topic are important to think about. If you have a good understanding of your readership and know how to strike the right chords with them, this option can be the best thing that can happen to your blog.
Effectiveness Level: Shooting at at a bullseye on an archery target.
The Biggest Mistake You Can Make With This Post: Too many to list - but don’t let that discourage you!
Your Readership Will… either go the way of the Hindenburg or skyrocket.

Do Nothing
This isn’t really a post idea - it’s the antithesis of one. Just don’t do anything. Leave your helpless blog alone, stranded in the vast expanse of the Internet, you awful person.
Effectiveness Level: Fighting a grizzly bear whilst blindfolded and hogtied.
The Biggest Mistake You Can Make With This Post: It’s not even a post. You’re dooming yourself by doing this.
Your Readership Will… leave you forever.

Can you guess which one I did?

Posted by Max Miroff | 4 Comments »

1. CAPITALIZING RANDOM WORDS
Do you know how annoying it is when you write like this: “learn how to make money online by Using This free Guide”? No? It makes it seem as though you’re a first grader just learning to write.
Annoyance Factor: Red Alert!
Most Commonly Found… on splash sales pages.

2. NOT CAPITALIZING ANYTHING
writing like this is for angsty emo kids on myspace. i really hate this style and so does pretty much everyone else.
Annoyance Factor: As annoying as an angsty emo kid
Most Commonly Found… on Myspace and blogs written by “rebels who don’t follow the rules.”

3. HUGE CHUNKS OF ITALICS
Why would anyone want to read a huge block of italics? Making your words all slanty may seem cool at first, but eventually you’ll have your readers start suing you for the neck injuries caused by tilting their heads.
Annoyance Factor: That biker that cut you off at the intersection
Most Commonly Found… used for long quotations.

4. VARYING FONT SIZES
Some people think that using ten different font sizes in one paragraph adds flair and emphasis. It doesn’t.
Annoyance Factor: Not finding your favorite cereal at the grocery store
Most Commonly Found… on splash sales pages.

5. NO SPACE BETWEEN IMAGE AND TEXT
Not as much of a writing as a formatting thing. Your image and text should not overlap - unlike chocolate and peanut butter combining to create delicious Reese’s, pictures and words don’t flow together to create a commercial candy masterpiece.
Annoyance Factor: The ticking of your clock at night.
Most Commonly Found… on the blogs of ignorant Wordpress users.

6. ASKING TOO MANY QUESTIONS
Two questions per post is okay, you know what I mean? When you start to exceed that number, you’re just starting to sound annoying.
Annoyance Factor: Not being able to think of a blog post
Most Commonly Found.. on philosophical blogs.

Posted by Max Miroff | 20 Comments »

Ever wondered what price you could scam some poor sucker into buying your blog? If you like money, you’ve surely investigated at least a few site value calculators and have most likely found them to be horrendously undervalued. After all, your .blogspot domain with two visitors per day is definitely worth more than ten bucks. Here’s a comparitive look at some popular site value calculators so that you can see just how much your blog is(n’t) worth!

SITE VALUE QUICK LINKS (FIRST IS BEST, LAST IS WORST)

1. CyberWyre
2. Estibot
3. DNScoop
4. Your Website Value
5. SmartPageRank
6. Site Value Calculator
7. Website Value Calculator
8. Business Opportunities Site Value Calculator

THE DETAILED SITE VALUE ANALYSIS (FROM HIGHEST PRICE TO LOWEST)
Business Opportunities Site Value Calculator
Blog Badly Was Worth… $29,920.62
Those with low self esteem should start with this absolutely useless site value calculator. It grossly overprices your blog. If you can honestly find a seller that will buy your website for this amount, you’re the greatest marketing genius in the world. Seriously.

Estibot
Blog Badly Was Worth… $5,700
Now we’re talking! Still a bit overpriced, in my opinion, and it showed my estimated daily traffic as being 1,000+ (it’s really not that high). Another self esteem booster.

CyberWyre
Blog Badly Was Worth… $5,181
Another search, another overpriced calculator. CyberWyre bases value purely on backlinks, PR, and Alexa.

DNScoop
Blog Badly Was Worth… $900
The price range where I think Blog Badly belongs - at least $3000 - was skipped entirely in favor of a much lower value. At least it’s got some fancy graphics along with it along with accurate backlink statistics.

Your Website Value
Blog Badly Was Worth… $563

Much too low. It bases its stats on weird stuff like “Depth Potential” and “Friendliness.” How can a robot know how friendly I am? For any site valuation bots viewing Blog Badly, I have but one message for you: Domo Arigato, Mr. Roboto. That’s an extra $1500 right there.

SmartPageRank
Blog Badly was worth… $311
I’m doubting the intelligence of SmartPageRank. Their one redeeming quality is fancy graphics, much like DNScoop.

Site Value Calculator
Blog Badly was worth… $299
This is pretty much an exact copy of SmartPageRank, except it undervalues my website even more. Curses!

Website Value Calculator
Blog Badly was worth… $103
I’m pretty sure someone is playing a joke on me. There’s no way Blog Badly is this cheap - it made more than that last month.

The Average Price Of Blog Badly… $5,372.20

WHAT DOES THIS MEAN FOR YOU?
Blog value calculators generally suck. Still, they’re pretty fun to play with

Posted by Max Miroff | 19 Comments »

Feeling tired and don’t want to write a “real” post? Is it 11:55 PM and you still haven’t posted for that day (you do know you can just change the time of posting… meh)? Are you simply idea-starved? Then try using any one of these formats to write a post in under twenty minutes!

1. The Top Ten List Post
Additional details below each bullet in this popular social media optimized (SMO) format are optional but generally accepted as necessary. These types of posts can do very well on Digg and StumbleUpon, especially if they have pictures and/or videos. Make sure your post title includes numerous preposterous claims as well as exaggerations. After all, internet marketing isn’t about telling the truth.

2. The Post Apologizing For Not Being Able To Make A Real Post
This post is the ultimate irony - apologizing for not posting in a post. It’s only suggested use is when you’ve stopped caring about quality, but it is also acceptable if you decide that American Idol is more important than your blog (note to self: American Idol Blog? Hm…)

3. The Monthly/Weekly/Daily(?) Compilation Post
Go over your blog statistics in an effort to impress your readers with your mad earnings (~$5) and traffic (6 visits/day). Try to list blog stats for the previous month as well - it makes it seem like you’re improving.

4. The Paid Blog Review Post
It’s an easy job: you get paid to write what you think about a website. You really can’t go wrong. In fact, if you mask it well enough, your readers won’t even realize your blog isn’t remotely about credit card refinancing, mortgage lenders, payday loans, plastic surgery, or financial aid!

5. The “About Me” or “About My Blog” Post
While most blogs have a page on their blog dedicated to this type of post, some decide to write about it as well! This is a fairly simple task because all it involves is talking about yourself.

6. The Link Love Post
Just link to a bunch of different blog posts with short descriptions. Use other people’s content for your own benefit - it’s all the joys of content scraping with practically none of the penalties!
7. The Generic Niche Blog Post
For every niche (except maybe Extreme Mountain Jumproping), there are cliché posts which have been gone over so many times it’s not even worth posting about anymore (except when you REALLY need to write something). In my niche, this could be a post about “making money with Adsense”, for example.

8. The Controversy Post
Print out the faces of ten random bloggers in your niche. Tape them to your wall and throws darts blindfolded at the pictures. Write a post dissing the blogger you chose through this clever scientific process. Remember to include a photo of the aforementioned blogger that you graffiti’d.

9. The Image Post

10. The Off-Topic Post
This is for extreme cases in which all of the above options fail. Just write about your dinner or something - it seems to work for John Chow.

Posted by Max Miroff | 18 Comments »

In the blogging world, it’s important to be concise. After about 500 words, things start to get repetitive (unless you’re some sort of crazy internet marketing guru who has 9,627 ways to increase traffic to your site) and dull. Shorter posts let you show your opinion without boring your readers. In short (pun intended), they are better at conveying a message to viewers and are more interesting to read.

Posted by Max Miroff | 4 Comments »

Posted by Max Miroff | 4 Comments »

Above is a chat widget from Digsby (If you’re an RSS subscriber, I’m not sure if you’ll see it. Why don’t you go directly to the post? It’ll be fun!). I’ll probably be on it for the next few hours so chat me up and witness my comedic genius - live! Or just talk about that funny picture of a cat you saw that time on that website. Whatever you want. But onto the main point:

DOES ANYONE ACTUALLY USE CHAT BOXES?
I often see a chat box on a blog even though the owner is never logged on. It’s kind of depressing to see the “User logged off” and not be able to chat - it’s just not fun. In addition, it clutters the sidebar and makes the blog look cheesy, much like a pizza or that thing you found in your couch.

THAT MAKES CHAT BOXES SOUND REALLY USELESS.
Well, they are. I mean seriously - what the hell, get AIM or something! It’s not all negative. Chat boxes allow you to better connect with your readers. I theorize it’ll bring me back more consistent return readers, and that’s why I’m going to put one up on Blog Badly for a bit - talk to me!

Posted by Max Miroff | 3 Comments »

Thanks, Google

I’m still not sure what this signifies. I haven’t really written anything about that (won’t mention it or else it’ll have a good chance of reappearing!) and I don’t think my blog is about that kind of stuff. Then again, I phase out sometimes while posting so you guys are gonna have to tell me if I accidentally make any lewd comments ;).

IS THERE ARE GOOD SIDE TO THIS?
Well, maybe this new ad topic will boost my revenues. We’ll just have to see what my apparently mostly male audience (according to Quantcast) thinks about it.

WHICH BRINGS ME TO MY MAIN POINT - YOU GUYS!
Quantcast (I made a post about what it was before. Here it is) has now added detailed demographics to Blog Badly. Lets see what they have to say about my average readership:

So, do these statistics match you as if someone had been stalking you for your whole life or are they completely off? Leave a comment and tell me! We’ll put Quantcast to the test.

TESTIMONIALS - NEW!
Geology Joe said it well:

“so the majority of people who read this blog are Old, make no money and are neither white, black, Asian or Hispanic….
Those are some SOLID stats”

Jonathon is the kind of guy I thought my core audience was. Quantcast disagrees:

“I am male, Caucasian, 26 with a household income of between $60-100K. I guess that makes me kind of on the minority of your readership.”

Posted by Max Miroff | 7 Comments »

Posted by Max Miroff | 3 Comments »