You're going to want to subscribe to my RSS feed. It's the greatest thing since sliced bread - even better, in fact. You know you want to.

Posted by Max Miroff | 2 Comments »

Phew, time sure flies by when you’re having fun blogging. In fact, it seems like just 30 days ago it was a month ago. Think about that statement for a while as I go and share the deepest, darkest secrets of Blog Badly’s growth (It’s alive!) and the expansion of my online empire (Proportionately to the rest of the world: about the size of my desk). Current stats in bold, last months stats (if I bothered to dig them up) in normal.

BLOG BADLY
Pageviews: 12,878 (1,142)
Uniques: 8,973 (762)
Subscribers: 43 (like 3?)
Alexa 3-Month Average: 305,659 (about 800,000)
Alexa Weekly Average:132,000 (???)
Google Pagerank: 3 (3)

I CAN HAS MONEYZ?
Blog Badly Income
The Rubicon Project: $97 ($0)
Winning Collin LaHay’s Contest: $100 (0$)
Other Funky Stuff: $20 (0$)

Miscellaneous Income
Triond: $65 ($15)

Total Income: 282/month, 9.4$/day. 940% increase.

AWARDS N’ STUFF
Most Creative Keyword (Sponsored by Google Analytics): “f6b3173f78c60b2383188f03e5310f85”
Most Popular Post: Top Ten Reasons This List Won’t Be Popular
Best Comment: “LOL thats funny.
so the majority of people who read this blog are Old, make no money and are neither white, black, Asian or Hispanic….
Those are some SOLID stats.”
Random Website I’m More Popular Than According To Alexa: Net Entrepreneur
Random Website I Should Be More Popular Than: Carl Ocab

ANALYSIS TIME
I’m still freaking poor. 9 bucks a day? That’s like working minimum wage for an hour and a half. Still, I suppose it’s adequate… for now. My goals will be to monetize Blog Badly better so that it earns at least 150 dollars in April, get 100 bucks from Triond, and get 100 bucks from other miscellaneous stuff.

Of course, talking about money first makes me seem like that’s all I’m concerned about. In fact, my ego inflates greatly when people read and comment on my work I believe that growing Blog Badly’s reach is, at the moment, more important than money. I’m hoping to break the Alexa top 100k within two weeks so that I can view their fancy graphs every day. Some more subscribers wouldn’t be too shabby either, hint hint.

Posted by Max Miroff | 8 Comments »

You’d think a humorous parody blog would have something good cooked up for April Fools Day, eh? Well, you’re wrong. Seems I’ve jumbled it up a bit and forgot to think of something funny to post up on Blog Badly beforehand. I’m also too tired to put my “mad humour skillz”™ to use after waking up at 2AM, taking a shower, eating breakfast, and wondering why my schoolbus wasn’t here in a confused daze for a good ten minutes before realizing I was about four hours early. This picture of a stoned sleepy jester holding what looks like a dead baby flamingo (aren’t those things endangered? Someone call PETA!) will have to suffice for now.

Posted by Max Miroff | 5 Comments »

It’s… it’s beautiful… Atrociously so. Unfinished yet. Click to magically make big.

That’s right, I’ve decided to write an eBook (EBOOK? ebook? e-book? Which one is it?). It won’t be any ordinary e-book, though, because it won’t even pretend to give you information. I’ll just tell you outright that it’ll be funny, amusing, and guaranteed to make you smile or at least your face or something. Think “I Am America (And So Can You!)” but for an e-book about blogging and making money online. That’s right, Colbert, I’m referencing YOU!

PROGRESS?
It turns outs ebooks are kind of hard to write, though, so it’s only about 1/20th of the way there. Regardless, I needed a post idea and this was the only thing I could think of I believe early promotion is always a good thing.

WHAT WILL IT COST ME?
That depends. Perhaps it’ll be free, perhaps I’ll scam you out of your money charge a small fee. The only certain thing is that if you write a blog post about the E-Book, you’ll definitely get a free copy, a mention in an upcoming post, and my unrequited love a sincere thank you.

ONE MORE THING
Got something you want included in the ebook that relates to blogging, SEO, making money online? I’ll make it funny! I’m always looking for some great creative topics to parody, so comment here. I might even credit you in this soon-to-be-revolutionary ebook!

In addition to this e-book, Blog Badly might be getting a custom theme design from this custom theme design contest.

Posted by Max Miroff | 4 Comments »

Posted by Max Miroff | 5 Comments »

Does free blog advertising float your boat? Actually, because free blog advertising doesn’t have the physical attributes to actually make a boat float, it doesn’t, but… you know what I mean.

Anyway, that’s why I’m offering three 125×125 ad squares right at the tip top of Blog Badly that you can use free for a whole week! Here’s how it’s going to work:

1. Write a post about this contest [preferred] to get 5 entries, or just add a link anywhere on your blog/site to Blog Badly and receive 3 entries.
2. Subscribe to the Blog Badly RSS feed to get 1 entry or subscribe by e-mail for 2 entries.
3. StumbleUpon Thumbs Up! this post to get 1 entry
4. Write a comment on this post saying what you did
5. The first three people to write posts or add links will automatically be given a week of advertising
6. You will be assigned a number and I’ll use random.org to pick winners weekly

As an additional incentive for writing a post, there will always be an ad spot dedicated to those who wrote posts or link to Blog Badly. That gives you a much greater chance of winning!

This contest will be ongoing, so even if you don’t win the first week you can still get the free advertising. Your points carry over from week to week!

REMEMBER! YOU MUST COMMENT ON THIS POST TO GET AN ENTRY! OR ELSE.. WELL… UHM. ALLIGATORS WILL EAT YOU.

UPDATE: Due to me being on vacation, the first drawing will be on the 24th. Sorry!

Posted by Max Miroff | 26 Comments »

ADSDAQ, an advertising company I use, apparently employs paid imps to do their bidding. Interesting.

Posted by Max Miroff | No Comments »

BLOGS ABOUT BLOGGING ARE ALL THE SAME

We’ve all heard of Darren Rowse, John Chow, and those other blogging greats, right? Their success spawned off thousands upon thousands of imitation blogs that are all about how to make a good blog. There are so many people writing about blogging that there’s no real content coming out. In fact, I could give you over 85% of the knowledge contained in these blogs in a few short statements:

BLOGGING CHECKLIST

1. Write good content. Content is king. Blah blah blah writing blah blah good grammar blah blah
2. Participate endlessly in social bookmarking sites like Digg, StumbleUpon, Reddit, etc.
3. Use good SEO practices like blah blah metatag this and blah blah download that.
4. Make your layout great and user friendly, blah blah, Web 2.0, blah
5. Use ads but not in excess.

There you have it. The condensed version of blogging online. Although Rowse occasionally has some excellent tips and every so often I come upon a piece of information on someones blog that I haven’t digested before, it eventually gets old.

Blog Badly hopes to change this monotone cycle by producing content that isn’t about how to make a better blog - it’s about how to make it worse (hence the title). By following the tips that are going to be mentioned here you’ll be able to create the absolute worst website on the internet. If, of course, you do the opposite you’ll have a utopian domain that will overwhelm its visitors with its greatness.

This will most likely be the only serious post on this blog - everything else will be filled with irony, satire, and fun. Blog Badly is written by Max Miroff, the current webmaster of MoneyMoose, and he’ll be your guide in degrading your blog to such a state that any visitors will fully understand the statement of “Whatever doesn’t kill you only makes you stronger.”

Prepare to forget everything you’ve known about blogging and embark on an epic journey of distaste, humor, and unknowledge*.

*noun - the exact opposite of knowledge. You’ll understand the full meaning of it after reading a few posts here.

Posted by Max Miroff | 3 Comments »